There was a Womyn's Studies/LGBTQAI Studies conference at my college this weekend. I didn't get to go the first day, Friday, because I had to work, but I did go Saturday because I was giving a presentation on Transgender Awareness with some friends of mine, along with another guy giving a similar presentation. My group basically covered Trans 101 and the other guy was more advanced. Both presentations went well and played nicely off each other.
The one I was apart of was a lot of me talking about my experience. We had a power point and I pretty much talked about all the slides. I feel very mixed about it because it seemed like it was "The Mad Womyn" show and my friends just sorta stood there. However, a lot the things we talked about I know about from personal experiences, so it would make sense that I would talk a lot. I came out as trans and I swear I saw a woman in the room whose jaw dropped ^_^ it was amusing and I loved it! We had a lot of people ask good questions and really got the discussion going so it was good. I enjoyed it a lot. I just felt bad that I was the only one really talking.
We talked about Gender Identity, ones inner most sense of being male, female, or however they see themselves in gender terms. We talked about cisgender, which I have mentioned on this blog, which means that you are born the same sex as your gender. We talked about the transgender umbrella which covers A LOT of gender fluidity. The terms that fall under transgender are: Gender Queer, Transsexual(Male to Female or Female to Male), Drag Queen, Drag King, Cross-Dresser, Transvestite, etc. We had people who know a lot and people who need very little, so it was fun.
Lastly, we talked about therapy and the idea that people who want to transition from either Male to Female or Female to Male or anywhere in between need to go to therapy to start that process. Basically, people go to get told what they already know and to PROVE it. I'm not saying that therapy isn't a good thing, I'm currently going to a counselor, but at the same time I don't think everyone needs it. There is something called the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care that is a "guide" to how therapists treat people with GID or Gender Identity Disorder which on paper is a good idea, in practice not so much. The thing about GID is that everyone goes through it differently, like everything else. So, a guide to it isn't really helpful. Granted, transitioning is a big decision not to be taken lightly, but it is a very personal thing that people shouldn't have to "prove" to anyone. People know who they are.
This therapy leads the person to be diagnosed with GID which is in the DSM-IV as a mental disorder. That goes on the persons record, which could prevent them from certain jobs. There is a lot of debate about whether it should or shouldn't be in the DSM within the trans community. Some argue that GID being in the DSM-IV, and soon to be in the DSM-V, leaves the door open for insurance companies to pay for hormones and maybe one day in surgery. I and others argue that A: we aren't crazy and B: Insurance companies don't pay for the hormones and they sure as hell don't pay for the surgery today, and they probably never will so whats the point of having to be diagnosed with a mental illness? Doesn't do anything but hurt us. Just like gay and lesbian people aren't crazy because they are gay and lesbian people who want to change genders AREN'T crazy because they want to change gender.
The guy then took over and talked about how people in the medical community are the "gatekeepers" to a lot trans people. With regards to the therapy especially. He also talked about what does it feel like to be a man or a woman? I answered that for me growing up the things that womyn did made a lot more sense than men, but even they did things that I was like: "You're nuts! There has to be a third option!". He also talked about how some people transition from gender to the other and then other transgress gender and just play around with it. I feel like that is me.
At my core I know I am a womyn, but at the same time I feel like there is part of me that isn't and has never been. I would say 90% female and 10% male. I think most people, if they are honest with themselves, are like this too. Within the transgender, at least for transwomyn, community there is this constant pressure to fit in the female gender box. Passing is the number one goal. To be a "real" womyn is the key. I have been guilty of worrying to much about passing, but I am doing my best to not worry about that. I don't think I am so much transitioning from the male gender box to the female gender box, as I am transgressing the ideas of gender.
Putting the "masculine" with the "feminine" and then finding a third option when I don't feel either one fits me.
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