In 2007, my senior year of high school, I was involved with a group that canvased against a constitutional amendment that would ban gay marriage in my state. Had the amendment NOT passed, gay people still wouldn't have been able to get married in the state. Nothing would have changed at all, so the amendment was just over kill. The amendment was basically a way for the homophobs to try and make sure that gay marriage would never be allowed for gay people in my state. A lot of people didn't understand what they would be voting for.
I canvased for this group one day, in high heeled boots, all day and a lot of people honestly thought that if they voted yes for the amendment it would either allow gays to marry or it would somehow be helpful to gay people. That day we canvased in pairs me and my trans brother paired up together and he and I had to explain to a lot of people that the amendment would NOT allow gay people to marry or help gay people in anyway, but would ban it completely in my state. For the most part once people understood that, they at the very least they would think about the issue. Canvasing was a bit intimidating. I was always nerves when went up to the door. Nerves what reaction they would have, worried that I would bothering them (I hate bothering people), but despite all that, I did it because I felt it had to be done. I got every reaction you can imagine.
At worst people would slam their doors in my face. When that happened I figured they were a lost cause anyway, so FUCK them I no longer cared! On the opposite side of that, I would get the people who would completely agree with me and while I went "WOOOT" on the inside, that wasn't really the point me canvasing. I wanted get the word out and educate people about the issue. Sometimes I would have good conversations with people, who were on the fence about the whole issue, and by the end of it, most of them seemed pretty convince. I liked these people the best because it allowed me to at least interact with people and it kept me hopeful that I may have just convinced another person to vote NO on the despicable amendment. Lastly, there was the in betweens, kinda good, but not as good as I would have hoped. I would have good conversations with these people, but by the end of it they weren't swayed either way. I tried to look on the bright side when I was done talking to these people at least I got them thinking about it from all sides, there was no promise either way about how they would vote. Sadly, the groups efforts didn't change the outcome and the amendment passed into law.
Despite the fact that the amendment passed I would still do all that work into trying to prevent it from being passed again. Thats part of what activism involves losing and set backs. Comes with being an activism realizing that we are going to lose a great many before we make any progress. I wish this wasn't so, but that is the sad fact about being an activist. I still work with them somewhat, although I do take issue with the fact they support the current ENDA which isn't trans inclusive at all, even though they don't do much in the way of activism since the amendment. Canvasing was an amazing experience and one that I would repeat again, if given the chance, and yes I would SO do it in high heeled boots again ^_^
Thats all for now.
Bye!
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Being a Transwomyn and Marriage.
Alright, so I realize I haven't discussed marriage on this blog and how it will affect me as a transwomyn. Being a transwomyn complicates things incredibly! Doesn't help that I am also a dyke to go along with it. The laws vary depending on the state one is living in. In some states, can't think of their names right now, what your chromosomes say determine who you can marry, I'm pretty sure its a southern state that has that law, go figure right? Doesn't matter what whether a transwomyn or transman has the surgery or not, if you have two X's you can only marry people with an X and Y and if you have an X and Y you can only marry people with two X's. Unless science figures out a way to change chromosomes of already alive people, trans people are pretty much screwed in these states, unless a federal law comes along.
In some states, like where I live, who someone can marry depends on their genitals. For example, in my state, I am still "legally" a male because I have a cock and haven't had the surgery yet. That means I can legally marry a womyn if I so choose. They legally can't stop me from doing that. If they tell me I can't because I am a womyn I can say "not according to the law I'm not" and I can get married to the womyn I love. However, the moment I get the surgery and am legally a womyn, I can't marry womyn anymore only men.
That just shows the insanity that is marriage laws in this country. I bet you there are LOTS of weddings where transwomyn and men are marrying the same gender all over this country everyday. Gay marriage is already happening. And look, that divorce rates and such aren't sky rocketing off the charts *GASP!*. We still have very high divorce rates, but if those marriages have any affect on them it is no doubt within the margin of error. Gay marriage is already happening and nothing has been damaged!
Why are we stopping people who love each other to get married, and see if they can make it work? Love is love people, no one should be denied that. Divorce rates are already very high and I highly doubt gay people are going to do any thing to change that, one way or the other. However, maybe, just maybe if more people who are excited about the chance to get married do, maybe those divorce rates will slowly begin to go down. No one even seems to want to bring that up as a possibility.
Why do we care so much about what gender the people are who get married? I hear a lot of the talk that gay marriage will "redefine marriage" mostly from people who truly don't realize just how many times marriage has been "redefined". To really go back to traditional marriage, we would have to go back to a day where womyn where property. Where marriage was more about getting land and making two families more wealthy than about love. Long ago black people couldn't marry white people and back in the days of slavery, black people couldn't marry each other. I ask the people who want "traditional" marriage, do you want all of that again? Or do you think it will be a step backwards rather than defending marriage?
Why are letting the religious right in this country control this issue? In an ideal world churches would accept gay marriage and help us with get married and some do. We live far from an ideal world, but I and others like me don't want to MAKE the churches do anything they don't want too. We just want the legal right to get married under the law. Is that so much to ask? We just want the same right that every straight couple has in this country.
Marriage in this country shouldn't be about gender, race or chromosomes, but it should be about celebrating the love of the two people. Get rid of those fucking labels of male, female, black, white, Latino/Latina, Asian, etc, etc and just celebrate the love of two human beings! We are all people searching for that someone who we love and who loves us back and we all deserve to have that love legally recognized under the law if we so choose. So, that we can have the all the benefits that go with that recognition.
In some states, like where I live, who someone can marry depends on their genitals. For example, in my state, I am still "legally" a male because I have a cock and haven't had the surgery yet. That means I can legally marry a womyn if I so choose. They legally can't stop me from doing that. If they tell me I can't because I am a womyn I can say "not according to the law I'm not" and I can get married to the womyn I love. However, the moment I get the surgery and am legally a womyn, I can't marry womyn anymore only men.
That just shows the insanity that is marriage laws in this country. I bet you there are LOTS of weddings where transwomyn and men are marrying the same gender all over this country everyday. Gay marriage is already happening. And look, that divorce rates and such aren't sky rocketing off the charts *GASP!*. We still have very high divorce rates, but if those marriages have any affect on them it is no doubt within the margin of error. Gay marriage is already happening and nothing has been damaged!
Why are we stopping people who love each other to get married, and see if they can make it work? Love is love people, no one should be denied that. Divorce rates are already very high and I highly doubt gay people are going to do any thing to change that, one way or the other. However, maybe, just maybe if more people who are excited about the chance to get married do, maybe those divorce rates will slowly begin to go down. No one even seems to want to bring that up as a possibility.
Why do we care so much about what gender the people are who get married? I hear a lot of the talk that gay marriage will "redefine marriage" mostly from people who truly don't realize just how many times marriage has been "redefined". To really go back to traditional marriage, we would have to go back to a day where womyn where property. Where marriage was more about getting land and making two families more wealthy than about love. Long ago black people couldn't marry white people and back in the days of slavery, black people couldn't marry each other. I ask the people who want "traditional" marriage, do you want all of that again? Or do you think it will be a step backwards rather than defending marriage?
Why are letting the religious right in this country control this issue? In an ideal world churches would accept gay marriage and help us with get married and some do. We live far from an ideal world, but I and others like me don't want to MAKE the churches do anything they don't want too. We just want the legal right to get married under the law. Is that so much to ask? We just want the same right that every straight couple has in this country.
Marriage in this country shouldn't be about gender, race or chromosomes, but it should be about celebrating the love of the two people. Get rid of those fucking labels of male, female, black, white, Latino/Latina, Asian, etc, etc and just celebrate the love of two human beings! We are all people searching for that someone who we love and who loves us back and we all deserve to have that love legally recognized under the law if we so choose. So, that we can have the all the benefits that go with that recognition.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Fourth Gender
Hello kiddies! Sorry, it has been so long. I haven't had much to write about, so I have held off. I do have something to write about today though, and it is about how I see myself in terms of gender.
So I have come to realize that being strictly female doesn't really fit me. I am much more female than male it is true, but I don't think I am completely female. Having said that, the option for being in between or Third gender, meaning being part male and female, doesn't really fit me either. Theres got to be a fourth option for people like me. I have tried to look up the fourth gender online and there is nothing. Being a fourth gender is a hard thing to describe, which I guess is why there isn't anything out there, but I'll do my best to say what it means to me.
I am part female, part male and part transgender. Part of me will always belong to the transgender community, even if I one day pass 100% of the time. They are my brothers and sisters and I can't and wont leave them. I am still working on accepting myself and my body, but I have now fully accepted that I will always be trans in some way, shape or from to someone out there and theres nothing that I can do about it. Whether its my voice, which I'm not going to change, my broad shoulders, or what little there is of my Adam's apple there will be something that someone will see that will give me away. I'm ok with that now. If the person who notices doesn't like it, TOUGH shit for them. I could give a flying fuck. I am learning to take pride in the fact that I am trans. I have a tattoo that reminds me everyday how amazing and cool that is. The male part of me comes from the good things in my past and how those experiences have helped shape me as a person.
I lived 16 years of my life as a boy. That helped shape me and how I see the world. While living that way, I was hurt and learned things about what means to be a good person and I still carry those things around with me. I learned how to make friends when I was living as that boy. Some of those friends I still have to this day, others I have lost contact with, and others I have cut out of my life for totally different reasons than my transitioning. I learned the value of an education living as a boy and how amazing teachers can be. Those are lessons I wouldn't change for the world. I am going to take those things and accept them as a part of my identity cause they are. I am learning to smile at those memories now, instead of getting sad for the girlhood I should have had. The female part is for sure the biggest part of me.
For as long as I can remember I have always felt like a girl. The things they said and did made so much sense to me and I felt connected to them. I still feel that way today. I have said it once I'll say it again, that at the very core of me I am a womyn. That part directs what I do and how I act and is very often the over-ruling voice when I am trying to decide what to do in a given situation. She has veto power over most things, but there is very often an internal debate and she can be swayed. These three parts haven't exactly gotten a long in harmony in the past, but I am working on getting them there.
Very often the transgender part of me has been pushed back because of shame and self-hatred and fear that if I am actually proud of being a transwomyn, that I am somehow being full of myself or I am not truly being a womyn. The male part of me is resentful and wondering why he had to be cast aside, so that I can be miserable this way. The female part is trying to rule, but at the same time feels guilty that she is ignoring the other two and treating them like shit.
Very slowly, with a lot of work still needing to be done, I am getting them all to come to terms with each other. Finding transfeminism has helped allow the female part of me and the trans part of me to see eye to eye, and realize that they can work together and be happy. The tattoo has also helped bring them together and most of the time they work together now. The male part of me and the other two are still very much a work in progress, but I have managed to get the two dominant parts of me to realize that he is apart of my past. Hes not just going to go away, and he has certain part of him still on me physically.
I write it this way to give you, the readers, a visual. Some of you are going to think I am nuts and that I have voices in my head, but that isn't my intension. I just want to give you guys a visual so you can see an how I am trying to fit those three big parts of me into the giant puzzle that is The Mad Womyn. Maybe there is a better way to do it, but I don't know how and this was the only way I could think of to get my point across.
All of that is how I would identify the fourth gender. Its a lot like the third gender, but with the added piece of just being trans. Being transgender is a gender in and of itself, in my opinion, and is something that I am gradually growing to like, even love, about myself! Not completely there yet, but I can see the light at the end of the very long tunnel ^_^
Thats all for now.
Bye!
So I have come to realize that being strictly female doesn't really fit me. I am much more female than male it is true, but I don't think I am completely female. Having said that, the option for being in between or Third gender, meaning being part male and female, doesn't really fit me either. Theres got to be a fourth option for people like me. I have tried to look up the fourth gender online and there is nothing. Being a fourth gender is a hard thing to describe, which I guess is why there isn't anything out there, but I'll do my best to say what it means to me.
I am part female, part male and part transgender. Part of me will always belong to the transgender community, even if I one day pass 100% of the time. They are my brothers and sisters and I can't and wont leave them. I am still working on accepting myself and my body, but I have now fully accepted that I will always be trans in some way, shape or from to someone out there and theres nothing that I can do about it. Whether its my voice, which I'm not going to change, my broad shoulders, or what little there is of my Adam's apple there will be something that someone will see that will give me away. I'm ok with that now. If the person who notices doesn't like it, TOUGH shit for them. I could give a flying fuck. I am learning to take pride in the fact that I am trans. I have a tattoo that reminds me everyday how amazing and cool that is. The male part of me comes from the good things in my past and how those experiences have helped shape me as a person.
I lived 16 years of my life as a boy. That helped shape me and how I see the world. While living that way, I was hurt and learned things about what means to be a good person and I still carry those things around with me. I learned how to make friends when I was living as that boy. Some of those friends I still have to this day, others I have lost contact with, and others I have cut out of my life for totally different reasons than my transitioning. I learned the value of an education living as a boy and how amazing teachers can be. Those are lessons I wouldn't change for the world. I am going to take those things and accept them as a part of my identity cause they are. I am learning to smile at those memories now, instead of getting sad for the girlhood I should have had. The female part is for sure the biggest part of me.
For as long as I can remember I have always felt like a girl. The things they said and did made so much sense to me and I felt connected to them. I still feel that way today. I have said it once I'll say it again, that at the very core of me I am a womyn. That part directs what I do and how I act and is very often the over-ruling voice when I am trying to decide what to do in a given situation. She has veto power over most things, but there is very often an internal debate and she can be swayed. These three parts haven't exactly gotten a long in harmony in the past, but I am working on getting them there.
Very often the transgender part of me has been pushed back because of shame and self-hatred and fear that if I am actually proud of being a transwomyn, that I am somehow being full of myself or I am not truly being a womyn. The male part of me is resentful and wondering why he had to be cast aside, so that I can be miserable this way. The female part is trying to rule, but at the same time feels guilty that she is ignoring the other two and treating them like shit.
Very slowly, with a lot of work still needing to be done, I am getting them all to come to terms with each other. Finding transfeminism has helped allow the female part of me and the trans part of me to see eye to eye, and realize that they can work together and be happy. The tattoo has also helped bring them together and most of the time they work together now. The male part of me and the other two are still very much a work in progress, but I have managed to get the two dominant parts of me to realize that he is apart of my past. Hes not just going to go away, and he has certain part of him still on me physically.
I write it this way to give you, the readers, a visual. Some of you are going to think I am nuts and that I have voices in my head, but that isn't my intension. I just want to give you guys a visual so you can see an how I am trying to fit those three big parts of me into the giant puzzle that is The Mad Womyn. Maybe there is a better way to do it, but I don't know how and this was the only way I could think of to get my point across.
All of that is how I would identify the fourth gender. Its a lot like the third gender, but with the added piece of just being trans. Being transgender is a gender in and of itself, in my opinion, and is something that I am gradually growing to like, even love, about myself! Not completely there yet, but I can see the light at the end of the very long tunnel ^_^
Thats all for now.
Bye!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
School away from home
I have recently completed my first full year in college away from home. Up until then I had been going to school at a small tech school and living at home. Part of the reason I choose a school away is because I wanted to get away from my dad. I love him to death, but honestly he was driving me crazy and he and I just don't see eye to eye politically. We agree that politicians are scum, but thats about it. I want to go somewhere so that I didn't have to censor myself that way.
Overall that worked very well. I got heavily involved with groups on campus that are fairly liberal and I'm even an officer for one of them next semester. I made some great friends how helped get more and more involved. I went on the National Equality March on Washington my first semester, which was an amazing and I wouldn't change it for the world! I have explored different facets of myself and am working on making myself better. Still very much a work in progress, but I'm working on it. I started this blog while I was there and have found it to be very freeing to just write what is on my mind and talking about the things I care about. I have even gotten friendly with a girl who lives a bit far away, but is coming up for school near where I live. I really like her and am hopeful. I got a tattoo that reminds me everyday of who I am and that I should be proud. This is not to say that things haven't been tough in some ways. Both semesters had tough moments. The first semester had more of them than the second.
The first semester included me having a breakdown when a friends mom knew that I was trans. I hadn't cried that hard in a long time. Lead to good things, but still at the time very hard. Add to that an emotionally abusive semi-relationship, we never officially dated but it was a relationship, with a girl that blamed me for everything and you have me in an emotional wreck! That semester also included the first time that I cut myself just to feel something else other than emotional pain. I still have the cuts on my arm. Not proud of it, but I did cut myself. I was a broken mad womyn when I left to return home for winter break.
I used winter break as a break! I didn't do much, but relax and try it find my emotional equilibrium again. For the most part a break is what it was. I got my special Buffy the Vampire Slayer box-set the only thing I wanted for X-mas and got through all of the special features, including the commentaries, before the end of break. My family from the school kidnapped me sometimes and we hung out which was always a lot of fun! Things started to seem pretty good between me and that girl again. We seemed to be able to workout stuff. I kissed her for the first time, my first kiss actually, and kissed every other time we saw each other, except for the last time, after the first one. I turned 21 and got a bit drunk that night with my two favorite sisters not actually related, but they have adopted me as the third sister. The bad part came at the end when the girl ripped my heart out by choosing a GUY over me, shes bi. I was a wreck for about a week after that. Then my best-friend took me out to the annex for a fetish night and I got flogged for the first time! Twas amazing! Got me to stop thinking about the girl. Second semester was much better, but still had its down moments.
The girl drove me crazy to the point where, at the advice of my best-friend <3, I had to tell her to fuck off! She has left me alone since, HURRAY! I realized just how much I hate myself and how ashamed I feel about being a transwomyn. That realization had me shaking literally. My roommate, another transwomyn, dropped out of school and basically blamed me for it! Much like my ex, who blamed me for her cutting herself, my ex-roomie blamed me for the reason she was dropping out of school. Like my ex, me and the roomie don't talk anymore. Other than that second semester was good. I really started to get somewhere with my counseling and that helped maintain my emotional equilibrium. I wasn't the emotional wreck that I was when winter break came.
I am back home for the summer, have a job interview in about 2 hours and have feeling that this is going to be a long summer. My home doesn't feel like home anymore. I love my dad, but I once again feel stifled because I can't freely express my leftist views at home. Hopefully, the organization ISO can help me get those out once a week and of course I always have this blog ^_^. Hopefully, the summer wont be so bad. If I can get this job, I don't think it will be *crosses fingers*
Thats all for now!
Byes!
Overall that worked very well. I got heavily involved with groups on campus that are fairly liberal and I'm even an officer for one of them next semester. I made some great friends how helped get more and more involved. I went on the National Equality March on Washington my first semester, which was an amazing and I wouldn't change it for the world! I have explored different facets of myself and am working on making myself better. Still very much a work in progress, but I'm working on it. I started this blog while I was there and have found it to be very freeing to just write what is on my mind and talking about the things I care about. I have even gotten friendly with a girl who lives a bit far away, but is coming up for school near where I live. I really like her and am hopeful. I got a tattoo that reminds me everyday of who I am and that I should be proud. This is not to say that things haven't been tough in some ways. Both semesters had tough moments. The first semester had more of them than the second.
The first semester included me having a breakdown when a friends mom knew that I was trans. I hadn't cried that hard in a long time. Lead to good things, but still at the time very hard. Add to that an emotionally abusive semi-relationship, we never officially dated but it was a relationship, with a girl that blamed me for everything and you have me in an emotional wreck! That semester also included the first time that I cut myself just to feel something else other than emotional pain. I still have the cuts on my arm. Not proud of it, but I did cut myself. I was a broken mad womyn when I left to return home for winter break.
I used winter break as a break! I didn't do much, but relax and try it find my emotional equilibrium again. For the most part a break is what it was. I got my special Buffy the Vampire Slayer box-set the only thing I wanted for X-mas and got through all of the special features, including the commentaries, before the end of break. My family from the school kidnapped me sometimes and we hung out which was always a lot of fun! Things started to seem pretty good between me and that girl again. We seemed to be able to workout stuff. I kissed her for the first time, my first kiss actually, and kissed every other time we saw each other, except for the last time, after the first one. I turned 21 and got a bit drunk that night with my two favorite sisters not actually related, but they have adopted me as the third sister. The bad part came at the end when the girl ripped my heart out by choosing a GUY over me, shes bi. I was a wreck for about a week after that. Then my best-friend took me out to the annex for a fetish night and I got flogged for the first time! Twas amazing! Got me to stop thinking about the girl. Second semester was much better, but still had its down moments.
The girl drove me crazy to the point where, at the advice of my best-friend <3, I had to tell her to fuck off! She has left me alone since, HURRAY! I realized just how much I hate myself and how ashamed I feel about being a transwomyn. That realization had me shaking literally. My roommate, another transwomyn, dropped out of school and basically blamed me for it! Much like my ex, who blamed me for her cutting herself, my ex-roomie blamed me for the reason she was dropping out of school. Like my ex, me and the roomie don't talk anymore. Other than that second semester was good. I really started to get somewhere with my counseling and that helped maintain my emotional equilibrium. I wasn't the emotional wreck that I was when winter break came.
I am back home for the summer, have a job interview in about 2 hours and have feeling that this is going to be a long summer. My home doesn't feel like home anymore. I love my dad, but I once again feel stifled because I can't freely express my leftist views at home. Hopefully, the organization ISO can help me get those out once a week and of course I always have this blog ^_^. Hopefully, the summer wont be so bad. If I can get this job, I don't think it will be *crosses fingers*
Thats all for now!
Byes!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
ENDA.....how I hate it!
I have realized looking back at my recent blogs that I haven't directly talked about ENDA or the Employment None Discrimination Act. Something that has pissed me off over the last week or so. So, I thought I would for this blog. Fasten your seat belts kiddies, as I get political on you once again.
The HRC and Democrats in congress want to pass ENDA into law. The current form of ENDA would protect all LGB people from being fired just because they are LGB WITH NO STRINGS ATTACHED. While the law also protects Trans people from being fired just because they are trans, that comes with a catch. The catch is that transwomyn and transmen will NOT be able to use the bathroom that they feel most comfortable in. To quote the ignorant-transphobic-bastard Barny Frank trans people with “one set of genitals would not be able to go to a bathroom for people with another set of genitals." Frank is the same man who told the people who marched on Washington last year, of which I was one, that "The only pressure they (the marchers) will have is on the grass!" He also said "Concessions had to be made." Once again trans people get the short end of the stick and that is OK in the view of Barney Frank and the HRC! And just how exactly will employers know whether someone has the "right set" of genitals? Easy, genital inspection.
If the current form of ENDA goes into law, employers will have the right to basically ask someone to "describe" their genitals and can even request that they show them their genitals. Lets count the ways this is wrong. 1) My genitals are NO ONES business unless I choose to tell you about them and 2) Talk about humiliating. My cisgender readers image that for a second. Image that an employer asking YOU to describe your genitals to them? Humiliating is it not? I know the law doesn't say that in writing, but I don't think it is a stretch to image that shit like that WILL happen if the current form of ENDA goes into law! Not only is this form of ENDA humiliating, but it is also dangerous.
Image what could happen if a transwomyn walks into a mens bathroom. There is a big chance of them getting verbally harassed, beaten up, killed or sexually assaulted by men in those bathrooms. Also imagine the humiliation of having to EXPLAIN why you are in that bathroom. My trans sisters and brothers and I will have to say that we have the "wrong" genitals. On a personal level, I feel like this will hurt transwomyn more so than transmen.
I am in no way saying that transmen WONT be affected, because they will, but transwomyn have a harder time passing in a lot of ways. For instance estrogen doesn't change our voices the way testosterone, or T as it is known in the transmen community, changes transmens. Granted T doesn't deepen transmens voices 100% of the time, but there is an EXTREMELY good chance it will. Also while estrogen slows down body hair like facial hair, and sometimes lightens it, facial hair still grows and takes years and years of expensive electrolysis to remove. While T adds facial hair and a lot of the time is used as a way to pass for them. Not saying that transmen have it good either as far as passing, but in those ways they have it A LOT better than transwomyn do. With that I bet you that more transwomyn than men will be asked to "describe" their genitals.
This whole thing just pisses me off! Barny Frank and the HRC could give a flying fuck about trans people. That fuck-head Frank continued to say that “consistent gender presentation” would also be required in order to sue. The example he gave of something people CAN'T do is sitting there with "full beard and a dress." To me this just PROVES that transwomyn are the target in this. I don't think this a reasonable requirement at all. Just another way for cisgender people to FUCK people who don't fit into those gender boxes and have no interest to do so. That part is all about cisgender people not being comfortable with how trans people present themselves, well I say fuck you. Trans people deserve to be respected because they are human beings! Talk about judging a book by its cover.
So basically in order for trans people to be able to use ENDA they have to jump through hoops. They have to prove a) they are "presenting consistently", how the fuck are you suppose to prove that in a court of law? And b) follow the part of the law about matching genitals. So, if they are caught using the "wrong" bathroom ONE time and someone complains the employers can use that and they are off the hook! While it gives cisgender LGB people a no questions asked way out! ENDA isn't trans inclusive at all! ENDA tries to pay lip service to trans people and maybe has "good intentions", but in the end only makes us stand out even more than we already do. Fuck Barney Frank and FUCK the HRC if they think this is a good enough for trans people.
I hope that this form of ENDA doesn't go through. For once I hope the party of "No", aka the Republicans, who hate the bill win! I actually agree with them for once. For totally different reasons, but I still agree. Can't tell you how much it pains me to say that.
Byes!
The HRC and Democrats in congress want to pass ENDA into law. The current form of ENDA would protect all LGB people from being fired just because they are LGB WITH NO STRINGS ATTACHED. While the law also protects Trans people from being fired just because they are trans, that comes with a catch. The catch is that transwomyn and transmen will NOT be able to use the bathroom that they feel most comfortable in. To quote the ignorant-transphobic-bastard Barny Frank trans people with “one set of genitals would not be able to go to a bathroom for people with another set of genitals." Frank is the same man who told the people who marched on Washington last year, of which I was one, that "The only pressure they (the marchers) will have is on the grass!" He also said "Concessions had to be made." Once again trans people get the short end of the stick and that is OK in the view of Barney Frank and the HRC! And just how exactly will employers know whether someone has the "right set" of genitals? Easy, genital inspection.
If the current form of ENDA goes into law, employers will have the right to basically ask someone to "describe" their genitals and can even request that they show them their genitals. Lets count the ways this is wrong. 1) My genitals are NO ONES business unless I choose to tell you about them and 2) Talk about humiliating. My cisgender readers image that for a second. Image that an employer asking YOU to describe your genitals to them? Humiliating is it not? I know the law doesn't say that in writing, but I don't think it is a stretch to image that shit like that WILL happen if the current form of ENDA goes into law! Not only is this form of ENDA humiliating, but it is also dangerous.
Image what could happen if a transwomyn walks into a mens bathroom. There is a big chance of them getting verbally harassed, beaten up, killed or sexually assaulted by men in those bathrooms. Also imagine the humiliation of having to EXPLAIN why you are in that bathroom. My trans sisters and brothers and I will have to say that we have the "wrong" genitals. On a personal level, I feel like this will hurt transwomyn more so than transmen.
I am in no way saying that transmen WONT be affected, because they will, but transwomyn have a harder time passing in a lot of ways. For instance estrogen doesn't change our voices the way testosterone, or T as it is known in the transmen community, changes transmens. Granted T doesn't deepen transmens voices 100% of the time, but there is an EXTREMELY good chance it will. Also while estrogen slows down body hair like facial hair, and sometimes lightens it, facial hair still grows and takes years and years of expensive electrolysis to remove. While T adds facial hair and a lot of the time is used as a way to pass for them. Not saying that transmen have it good either as far as passing, but in those ways they have it A LOT better than transwomyn do. With that I bet you that more transwomyn than men will be asked to "describe" their genitals.
This whole thing just pisses me off! Barny Frank and the HRC could give a flying fuck about trans people. That fuck-head Frank continued to say that “consistent gender presentation” would also be required in order to sue. The example he gave of something people CAN'T do is sitting there with "full beard and a dress." To me this just PROVES that transwomyn are the target in this. I don't think this a reasonable requirement at all. Just another way for cisgender people to FUCK people who don't fit into those gender boxes and have no interest to do so. That part is all about cisgender people not being comfortable with how trans people present themselves, well I say fuck you. Trans people deserve to be respected because they are human beings! Talk about judging a book by its cover.
So basically in order for trans people to be able to use ENDA they have to jump through hoops. They have to prove a) they are "presenting consistently", how the fuck are you suppose to prove that in a court of law? And b) follow the part of the law about matching genitals. So, if they are caught using the "wrong" bathroom ONE time and someone complains the employers can use that and they are off the hook! While it gives cisgender LGB people a no questions asked way out! ENDA isn't trans inclusive at all! ENDA tries to pay lip service to trans people and maybe has "good intentions", but in the end only makes us stand out even more than we already do. Fuck Barney Frank and FUCK the HRC if they think this is a good enough for trans people.
I hope that this form of ENDA doesn't go through. For once I hope the party of "No", aka the Republicans, who hate the bill win! I actually agree with them for once. For totally different reasons, but I still agree. Can't tell you how much it pains me to say that.
Byes!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Regeneration
So I'm a big fan of the show Doctor Who which is about a time traveler known as the Doctor. He is a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey. He travels in a ship called the TARDIS, which stands for Time And Relative Dimensions In Space, that is supposed to blend in with the environment of what every place he lands, but that is broken so it is stuck in the form of a Police Box. One of the things that comes with being a Time Lord is that they can cheat death. Whenever they are about to die they can regenerate, up to 12 times, and continue on. Some days I really wish I could do that.
Now generally speaking regenerations are random. The 5th Doctor looking in the mirror says: "Thats the problem with regeneration.....You never know what your going to get!", but not always. The second Doctor was forced to regenerate by his own people, and was given a choice. He didn't want any of them, so they CHOOSE for him. (And yes I realize that by saying all of that I have just cemented my place in the geek/nerd/dork hall of fame, but if you hadn't figured out that I was a geek/nerd/dork by now you haven't been paying attention so I don't care :P) So there must be away to choose!Heres the brilliant thing too, when he regenerates he keeps all his memories. Hes not a blank slate. His personality is different, but his values are the same and by the way, there is nothing NOTHING that says he can't regenerate into female form.
I would love to regenerate into a cisgender womyn's body. I would still be me, just with a different face and body. Everything I fight for would still be apart of me, just in a different skin. Some days I think how great that would be I know its never going to happen, but it would be super cool! Usually I only think about that on bad days and one of those days another thought occurred to me. Transsexual, which for the sake of this post means people who take hormones and may get the surgery to be the other gender, people are probably as about as close as humans can get to being able to regenerate.
Transsexual people go from one gender to the other. They can change everything! The way they talk, the way they walk, their personalities, etc. Granted they don't HAVE to change everything, but they can and a lot of them do. In fact a lot of the times their values even change because they have been hiding the ones that come out for so long. We also change our bodies with hormones and with surgery if we wish. It isn't as right away like the way Time Lords regenerate, but it still happens.
One could argue that the biggest difference is that when the Doctor and other time lords do it to save their lives and that trans people don't. I disagree. I disagree because often times transitioning, or regenerating, is the last resort. We have two choices, live or die. Meaning if we don't be the men or womyn that we know we are suppose to be, we will doubt kill ourselves. Often times that decision is a matter of life or death. We do it in order to survive. Funny, considering it also puts us in danger too. The Doctor is always in danger just by nature of being the Doctor. He has made many enemies that would love to kill him just for being him. I grant that it is a stretch to compare the two, but transsexual people are often killed because people don't like us.
I grant that this is, probably, just me trying to relate to a character, but honestly I think it makes some sense. Also, please don't think I am trying to demean the transsexuals and other trans people who die because they are who they are by comparing them to a fictional character, that isn't my intention.
Now generally speaking regenerations are random. The 5th Doctor looking in the mirror says: "Thats the problem with regeneration.....You never know what your going to get!", but not always. The second Doctor was forced to regenerate by his own people, and was given a choice. He didn't want any of them, so they CHOOSE for him. (And yes I realize that by saying all of that I have just cemented my place in the geek/nerd/dork hall of fame, but if you hadn't figured out that I was a geek/nerd/dork by now you haven't been paying attention so I don't care :P) So there must be away to choose!Heres the brilliant thing too, when he regenerates he keeps all his memories. Hes not a blank slate. His personality is different, but his values are the same and by the way, there is nothing NOTHING that says he can't regenerate into female form.
I would love to regenerate into a cisgender womyn's body. I would still be me, just with a different face and body. Everything I fight for would still be apart of me, just in a different skin. Some days I think how great that would be I know its never going to happen, but it would be super cool! Usually I only think about that on bad days and one of those days another thought occurred to me. Transsexual, which for the sake of this post means people who take hormones and may get the surgery to be the other gender, people are probably as about as close as humans can get to being able to regenerate.
Transsexual people go from one gender to the other. They can change everything! The way they talk, the way they walk, their personalities, etc. Granted they don't HAVE to change everything, but they can and a lot of them do. In fact a lot of the times their values even change because they have been hiding the ones that come out for so long. We also change our bodies with hormones and with surgery if we wish. It isn't as right away like the way Time Lords regenerate, but it still happens.
One could argue that the biggest difference is that when the Doctor and other time lords do it to save their lives and that trans people don't. I disagree. I disagree because often times transitioning, or regenerating, is the last resort. We have two choices, live or die. Meaning if we don't be the men or womyn that we know we are suppose to be, we will doubt kill ourselves. Often times that decision is a matter of life or death. We do it in order to survive. Funny, considering it also puts us in danger too. The Doctor is always in danger just by nature of being the Doctor. He has made many enemies that would love to kill him just for being him. I grant that it is a stretch to compare the two, but transsexual people are often killed because people don't like us.
I grant that this is, probably, just me trying to relate to a character, but honestly I think it makes some sense. Also, please don't think I am trying to demean the transsexuals and other trans people who die because they are who they are by comparing them to a fictional character, that isn't my intention.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Transwomyn
I am a transwomyn.
I am the womyn that both cisgender womyn and men alike feel that they have the right to gawk at. As if my body is always on display to their stares and amusements, but if I stare back suddenly I am an intruder and told that it is rude to stare. To these people I am not seen as human, but as a piece of meat walking around to observe, for lack of a better term.
I am the womyn that people see as a freak, because I was born with a cock and have experience living as a man. Society doesn't know where to put me, so they lash out and hate me for who I am. They expect me to conform to their ways of thinking. Some of my trans sisters are in agreement with them. Both sides want me to fit in that nice little box setup for womyn in our society. I refuse. I DID NOT do this to go from one box to the other!
I am the womyn that is thrown under the bus whenever battles over civil rights are involved. I am the "concession" that has to be made so that another group can move up in the world, while I go nowhere. People promise to bring me with......eventually once they have made it. Then MAYBE they'll help despite the fact that I, and others like me, have been fighting for THEIR rights all the time! And that all oppression is connected.
I am the womyn that way back when, and some today, feminists spat on as just "men trying to get into womyn's places." I'll admit that I experienced forms of male privilege in my life. I lived as a male for 16 years so of course I did. Seeing that has only made me more a feminist today then anything else. I gave it up to be the person that is writing this. I never wanted it in the first place.
I am the womyn people hate because I challenge their assumptions about what it is to be male or female. Instead of talking to me or going on and doing research it is just easier to get mad. Humans get violent at what they don't understand. Why is that? Why do we reach for hate so easily? Confusing things are scary it is true, but why do we turn to violence when those things come up? If it is just "human nature" than this world is already screwed. I don't believe it is human nature. I believe society has taught us the idea to look down on others below them. I don't think the early men and womyn of the earth gave a flying fuck about who was below them, they just wanted to survive.
I am the womyn that had to make the hardest choice of her life when she was 16. Live as the womyn I knew I was or die. The third "option" of living as a male was to horrible to think about. I would rather die than live as something I wasn't. Still people try to push me into something that I am not fully comfortable with. I don't fit in those either box, never have never will.
At the time it was really hard to choose. I knew on a basic level what my life would be like if I transitioned. I knew I would be hated by some. There were moments where I thought I wouldn't be able to go on. I choose to live then because I had a father and friends that loved me dearly and I started to see a light at the end of the long tunnel that was my life. Its been 4 years now. The light gets closer and closer, not sure when I'll catch it, but I know I will.
I am a womyn who has probably done more self reflecting than most people do in their entire life. Comes with the package. In order to decide to make such a radical change ONE better make sure that it is what they truly want because after a certain point theres no going back. Most people don't have to wake up with the struggle of what gender they are. Most people wake up and that is one thing they don't have to think about.
I am the womyn who chose life over death. Who chose to fight rather than give in. Who will continue fighting her heart out because if she stops....the people who hate her win. I am beyond drained, tired and burned the fuck out, I lapped them probably about 100 times by now, but I still go on. Stopping isn't an option. I don't like that stopping isn't an option, but its true. I need to be the change I wish to see in the world as Gandhi said.
I am the womyn who goes on no matter how much society beats her, puts her down, and spits on her. I refuse to let society at large win. Refuse to let them beat me. I refuse to stop fighting. I have my own issues and through fighting this battle, I have begun to work some of them out. That is the other reason I mustn't and CAN'T stop fighting.
I am the womyn that both cisgender womyn and men alike feel that they have the right to gawk at. As if my body is always on display to their stares and amusements, but if I stare back suddenly I am an intruder and told that it is rude to stare. To these people I am not seen as human, but as a piece of meat walking around to observe, for lack of a better term.
I am the womyn that people see as a freak, because I was born with a cock and have experience living as a man. Society doesn't know where to put me, so they lash out and hate me for who I am. They expect me to conform to their ways of thinking. Some of my trans sisters are in agreement with them. Both sides want me to fit in that nice little box setup for womyn in our society. I refuse. I DID NOT do this to go from one box to the other!
I am the womyn that is thrown under the bus whenever battles over civil rights are involved. I am the "concession" that has to be made so that another group can move up in the world, while I go nowhere. People promise to bring me with......eventually once they have made it. Then MAYBE they'll help despite the fact that I, and others like me, have been fighting for THEIR rights all the time! And that all oppression is connected.
I am the womyn that way back when, and some today, feminists spat on as just "men trying to get into womyn's places." I'll admit that I experienced forms of male privilege in my life. I lived as a male for 16 years so of course I did. Seeing that has only made me more a feminist today then anything else. I gave it up to be the person that is writing this. I never wanted it in the first place.
I am the womyn people hate because I challenge their assumptions about what it is to be male or female. Instead of talking to me or going on and doing research it is just easier to get mad. Humans get violent at what they don't understand. Why is that? Why do we reach for hate so easily? Confusing things are scary it is true, but why do we turn to violence when those things come up? If it is just "human nature" than this world is already screwed. I don't believe it is human nature. I believe society has taught us the idea to look down on others below them. I don't think the early men and womyn of the earth gave a flying fuck about who was below them, they just wanted to survive.
I am the womyn that had to make the hardest choice of her life when she was 16. Live as the womyn I knew I was or die. The third "option" of living as a male was to horrible to think about. I would rather die than live as something I wasn't. Still people try to push me into something that I am not fully comfortable with. I don't fit in those either box, never have never will.
At the time it was really hard to choose. I knew on a basic level what my life would be like if I transitioned. I knew I would be hated by some. There were moments where I thought I wouldn't be able to go on. I choose to live then because I had a father and friends that loved me dearly and I started to see a light at the end of the long tunnel that was my life. Its been 4 years now. The light gets closer and closer, not sure when I'll catch it, but I know I will.
I am a womyn who has probably done more self reflecting than most people do in their entire life. Comes with the package. In order to decide to make such a radical change ONE better make sure that it is what they truly want because after a certain point theres no going back. Most people don't have to wake up with the struggle of what gender they are. Most people wake up and that is one thing they don't have to think about.
I am the womyn who chose life over death. Who chose to fight rather than give in. Who will continue fighting her heart out because if she stops....the people who hate her win. I am beyond drained, tired and burned the fuck out, I lapped them probably about 100 times by now, but I still go on. Stopping isn't an option. I don't like that stopping isn't an option, but its true. I need to be the change I wish to see in the world as Gandhi said.
I am the womyn who goes on no matter how much society beats her, puts her down, and spits on her. I refuse to let society at large win. Refuse to let them beat me. I refuse to stop fighting. I have my own issues and through fighting this battle, I have begun to work some of them out. That is the other reason I mustn't and CAN'T stop fighting.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Fuck Family Guy!
This post is going to be about Family Guy and their latest episode that makes fun of trans people, specifically transwomyn, in a very tasteless way. Let me start off by saying that A) I couldn't give two shits about being politically correct. I have never really cared about being politically correct honestly, I do however care about being respectful. There is a way to be respectful and make fun of someone. B) As a general rule I don't like the show because I find the jokes stupid and very unfunny, however, I have never once been offend by the things they said. On the whole, they do a good job of making fun of everyone in a respectful way. For example when Peter "turned gay" in a episode, and was acting very stereotypically, they still managed to show some respect for his partner and even gay people everywhere because of that. However, this episode EPICALLY FAILED to be anything close to respect full.
In the episode Quagmires dad, a respected war hero, comes out as being a transwomyn and gets a sex change. The Griffins go with him to the hospital to support him and, of course, to watch the surgery or as Lois calls it "the circus". Where they talk about the penis getting chopped off, btw this is FACTUALLY wrong about the surgery. The dad takes on the name Ida after and goes to the Griffin's place for dinner and brings with her a pie to contribute. Lois tells Meg to throw the pie a way right away, because heaven for bide they eat something made by a transwomyn. At the dinner, Ida is asked if she "misses having a penis" and other dumb and disrespectful comments like that. Later on Ida starts dating Brian, the dog, until he finds out that she is a transwomyn *GASP!* and he starts vomiting right after.
Whats the problem you may ask? Its all in good fun and Family Guy makes fun of everyone right? Since trans people, transwomyn in particular, are often seen as the clowns and NOT taken seriously anyway, this just sets us back. Maybe the point of the episode was to show how dumb these stereotypes are, but when ALL society has to gone on IS the stereotypes you just end up reinforcing them as opposed to challenging them. Before we start challenging the stereotypes, we need to have a good solid trans character on TV.
Right now general society, yes I include LGB people in that, see transwomyn as sexual deviants, showed through the relationship with Brain, our surgeries as something to watch and gawk at, showed through the Griffins and Quagmire watching, and clowns to be made fun of, showed through Lois telling Meg to throw away the pie. THAT IS ALL THAT SOCIETY SEES OF US! Transwomyn aren't seen as people, but as these deviant beings that deserve to be made fun off. Until we are seen as anything else episodes like this will only serve to hurt us.
Part of the reason that Peter's "turning gay" worked so well is because gay people have strong representation that prove those stereotypes wrong. They have people in OUR GOVERNMENT, shows that show them as actual people dealing with everyday issues. Strong characters that show up in shows all the time. TRANWOMYN HAVE NONE OF THAT! The only thing we have to go on is someone in the Obama administration and I'm willing to bet A GRAND majority of Americans DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT. Shes not at all talked about in the news.
What is even more disturbing is the amount of transmen who seem to want to let this slide. A common excuse is that Family Guy makes fun of everyone and why should transwomyn be any different? BECAUSE TRANSWOMYN AREN'T TAKEN SERIOUSLY DUMBASS! If there was some representation of a transwomyn out there that was respectful and not the butt of ALL jokes and show up on regular basis on a prime time TV show, I would agree that we should just let this go. The problem is that there isn't! Instead we get shat on by TV shows like Family Guy and even South Park (still haven't forgiven Matt and Trey for that one) as fucking perverts! I also doubt very seriously if these transmen who are OK with this, would be OK with Family Guy making fun of them and calling them lesbians and commenting on the fact that they have vaginas! The would be arguing the SAME THING I have been through out this entire post.
So once again tranwomyn get shat on. Is it any wonder why SO many don't come out until they are older? Is it any wonder why so many hate crimes are committed against us? Is it any wonder why we OFTEN FEEL ASHAMED, I speak through personal experience, about being trans? Is it any wonder WHY organizations like the HRC throw us under the bus? With a culture that only shows images of tranwomyn being somehow less than human, after all if we aren't human who cares if we die and who cares if we have equal rights, and deserving of being the butt of all jokes WITHOUT any counter point to that, it really isn't any wonder to me. FUCK FAMILY GUY AND ITS "GOOD INTENTIONS"!!!!
In the episode Quagmires dad, a respected war hero, comes out as being a transwomyn and gets a sex change. The Griffins go with him to the hospital to support him and, of course, to watch the surgery or as Lois calls it "the circus". Where they talk about the penis getting chopped off, btw this is FACTUALLY wrong about the surgery. The dad takes on the name Ida after and goes to the Griffin's place for dinner and brings with her a pie to contribute. Lois tells Meg to throw the pie a way right away, because heaven for bide they eat something made by a transwomyn. At the dinner, Ida is asked if she "misses having a penis" and other dumb and disrespectful comments like that. Later on Ida starts dating Brian, the dog, until he finds out that she is a transwomyn *GASP!* and he starts vomiting right after.
Whats the problem you may ask? Its all in good fun and Family Guy makes fun of everyone right? Since trans people, transwomyn in particular, are often seen as the clowns and NOT taken seriously anyway, this just sets us back. Maybe the point of the episode was to show how dumb these stereotypes are, but when ALL society has to gone on IS the stereotypes you just end up reinforcing them as opposed to challenging them. Before we start challenging the stereotypes, we need to have a good solid trans character on TV.
Right now general society, yes I include LGB people in that, see transwomyn as sexual deviants, showed through the relationship with Brain, our surgeries as something to watch and gawk at, showed through the Griffins and Quagmire watching, and clowns to be made fun of, showed through Lois telling Meg to throw away the pie. THAT IS ALL THAT SOCIETY SEES OF US! Transwomyn aren't seen as people, but as these deviant beings that deserve to be made fun off. Until we are seen as anything else episodes like this will only serve to hurt us.
Part of the reason that Peter's "turning gay" worked so well is because gay people have strong representation that prove those stereotypes wrong. They have people in OUR GOVERNMENT, shows that show them as actual people dealing with everyday issues. Strong characters that show up in shows all the time. TRANWOMYN HAVE NONE OF THAT! The only thing we have to go on is someone in the Obama administration and I'm willing to bet A GRAND majority of Americans DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT. Shes not at all talked about in the news.
What is even more disturbing is the amount of transmen who seem to want to let this slide. A common excuse is that Family Guy makes fun of everyone and why should transwomyn be any different? BECAUSE TRANSWOMYN AREN'T TAKEN SERIOUSLY DUMBASS! If there was some representation of a transwomyn out there that was respectful and not the butt of ALL jokes and show up on regular basis on a prime time TV show, I would agree that we should just let this go. The problem is that there isn't! Instead we get shat on by TV shows like Family Guy and even South Park (still haven't forgiven Matt and Trey for that one) as fucking perverts! I also doubt very seriously if these transmen who are OK with this, would be OK with Family Guy making fun of them and calling them lesbians and commenting on the fact that they have vaginas! The would be arguing the SAME THING I have been through out this entire post.
So once again tranwomyn get shat on. Is it any wonder why SO many don't come out until they are older? Is it any wonder why so many hate crimes are committed against us? Is it any wonder why we OFTEN FEEL ASHAMED, I speak through personal experience, about being trans? Is it any wonder WHY organizations like the HRC throw us under the bus? With a culture that only shows images of tranwomyn being somehow less than human, after all if we aren't human who cares if we die and who cares if we have equal rights, and deserving of being the butt of all jokes WITHOUT any counter point to that, it really isn't any wonder to me. FUCK FAMILY GUY AND ITS "GOOD INTENTIONS"!!!!
Friday, May 7, 2010
Oppression
In a world full of oppression, people don't seem to understand the concept that ALL oppression is connected. That one can NOT separate oppression of queer (for my sake Queer means LGBTQQAAI) people or people of color, or the mentally/physically disabled, or women's oppression (yes, it still exist folks), or even the white straight male ally that exists, and any other from of oppression that exists in this cruel and hateful world that we live in. Some people ask why this separation DOESN'T work? It doesn't work for the simple reason that in everyone of those individual groups, there is AT LEAST one if not more, people who fit into another.
There are cisgender women of color, who are also gay and disabled in some way. There are cisgender men of color, who are trans, gay and disabled. There is the physically disabled person who is trans, gay and a person of color. There are even those white cisgender straight men who are disabled and allies to the other communities. The list of possible combinations is ENDLESS! How people identify is also important.People who aren't white may focus on the fact the are oppressed simply for what the color of their skin is, then the fact they are women and then the queer aspect. What is important to them in terms of identity is a big factor to how they respond.
Right now the way it works is we split people up into groups and say they all need to fend for themselves and there really isn't any connection. In fact these groups are very often divided because they don't see representation in each other. People of color don't see themselves really in the queer community because they don't feel that the queer community doesn't meet their needs as people of color so they don't join even if they are queer or an ally to the community. Groups don't reach out to each other and it is dividing us.
There seems to be an attitude that people in these groups need to advocate for themselves and come to the individual groups setup to do tell them their needs. The problem is that when someone doesn't see their issues or needs from a group, they tend to think they aren't going to be heard. When a group doesn't reach out to them and say "Hey! We want this to be safe place for you too", then those people aren't going to come because they feel they are wasting their breathe and time. Why go to an event/club/organization if you feel you wont be heard?!? Honestly, that is how I am feeling about the one of the queer organizations on my college campus.
The organization doesn't reach out, isn't very inclusive to some of the people in the queer community or people of color, and with the current leaders for next semester I honestly don't see that changing. As someone who is trans I don't feel like they give a damn about my issues. I ran for the one of the open positions and told them that I wanted to make the organization more trans inclusive, because right now we really just ignore trans people and allies as well and we shouldn't. After I finished I pretty much got GRILLED! I got question after question after question about specifics when the other two candidates really got nothing. They got maybe two or three questions apiece and then I got up and was answering them for like 10 - 15 minutes. I brought up issues and ideas that generally people agreed where good and yet...I didn't get elected. So, apparently I have good ideas, but not good enough to be one of the leaders. World you continue to make no sense to me, I'm use to it but WTF!!! I have pretty much decided not to go that organization next semester. I don't feel like my voice will be heard at all with the majority of the new leaders. The organization handles things in exactly the wrong.
Until we stop trying to separate out different oppressions and realize that we are all in this fight together, we will NEVER have full equality for all! EVERY oppressed group needs to realize that we all fighting the same thing. The focus maybe a little different, but the idea is the same. We will NEVER win if we continue to fight amongst ourselves and be separate and be EXCLUSIVE to one cause. We all have to band together and fight. ALL groups reach out to anybody who is oppressed that you may not be focusing on right now and invite them in. Show them that you care and are willing to join the fight in their struggles, then, AND ONLY then will we begin to tear down society and make it more equal! Until then what we will continue to be DIVIDED and make little to no progress.
There are cisgender women of color, who are also gay and disabled in some way. There are cisgender men of color, who are trans, gay and disabled. There is the physically disabled person who is trans, gay and a person of color. There are even those white cisgender straight men who are disabled and allies to the other communities. The list of possible combinations is ENDLESS! How people identify is also important.People who aren't white may focus on the fact the are oppressed simply for what the color of their skin is, then the fact they are women and then the queer aspect. What is important to them in terms of identity is a big factor to how they respond.
Right now the way it works is we split people up into groups and say they all need to fend for themselves and there really isn't any connection. In fact these groups are very often divided because they don't see representation in each other. People of color don't see themselves really in the queer community because they don't feel that the queer community doesn't meet their needs as people of color so they don't join even if they are queer or an ally to the community. Groups don't reach out to each other and it is dividing us.
There seems to be an attitude that people in these groups need to advocate for themselves and come to the individual groups setup to do tell them their needs. The problem is that when someone doesn't see their issues or needs from a group, they tend to think they aren't going to be heard. When a group doesn't reach out to them and say "Hey! We want this to be safe place for you too", then those people aren't going to come because they feel they are wasting their breathe and time. Why go to an event/club/organization if you feel you wont be heard?!? Honestly, that is how I am feeling about the one of the queer organizations on my college campus.
The organization doesn't reach out, isn't very inclusive to some of the people in the queer community or people of color, and with the current leaders for next semester I honestly don't see that changing. As someone who is trans I don't feel like they give a damn about my issues. I ran for the one of the open positions and told them that I wanted to make the organization more trans inclusive, because right now we really just ignore trans people and allies as well and we shouldn't. After I finished I pretty much got GRILLED! I got question after question after question about specifics when the other two candidates really got nothing. They got maybe two or three questions apiece and then I got up and was answering them for like 10 - 15 minutes. I brought up issues and ideas that generally people agreed where good and yet...I didn't get elected. So, apparently I have good ideas, but not good enough to be one of the leaders. World you continue to make no sense to me, I'm use to it but WTF!!! I have pretty much decided not to go that organization next semester. I don't feel like my voice will be heard at all with the majority of the new leaders. The organization handles things in exactly the wrong.
Until we stop trying to separate out different oppressions and realize that we are all in this fight together, we will NEVER have full equality for all! EVERY oppressed group needs to realize that we all fighting the same thing. The focus maybe a little different, but the idea is the same. We will NEVER win if we continue to fight amongst ourselves and be separate and be EXCLUSIVE to one cause. We all have to band together and fight. ALL groups reach out to anybody who is oppressed that you may not be focusing on right now and invite them in. Show them that you care and are willing to join the fight in their struggles, then, AND ONLY then will we begin to tear down society and make it more equal! Until then what we will continue to be DIVIDED and make little to no progress.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Did I know him at all?!?
I once knew a kid that was like a brother to me. We laughed, played and cried together. I told him of my decision to transition and he said "Hey man, I'll always be your friend." He told me things about his life that I very much doubt a lot of people know. Secrets that I will take with me to my grave because that was between me and him and no one else needs to know, but I'm getting ahead of myself lets back up to when we met.
Now I don't remember things like what the whether was like when we met or how I was feeling that day, I only remember that we met when we were both in 3rd grade. He was a new student and I had only been there half a year and knew how hard it was to be the new kid. Me and another friend decided that we wanted to try to be friends with him. So we both started talking. That was the beginning of our trio. The three us would do EVERYTHING together. Whenever I wanted to hang out with people, they were the ones I called. If one couldn't, the other, most of the time, could and so we would hang out. It helped that we lived with in walking distance of each other. As time went on, I got extremely close to the new kid.
We would very often be up late at his house or mine a lot of the time playing video games or just hanging and talking or sometimes both. These were the times when he would tell me about his life. How uncaring his mother was, how much he wished he lived with his dad who did legit love him. These conversations left me feeling lucky that I lived with a parent that loved and cared for me deeply. I felt loved when I got home, he didn't. To this day my biggest pet peeve our parents that don't give a FUCK about their kids. That don't make an effort to show some interest in what is going on in their lives. *sigh*. As all friends do, we had our disagreements.
There was one time we got in a fight. What the fight was about I can't remember, something stupid like most fights, and we didn't talk to each other for almost a month. Finally, he broke the silence and said he was sorry. I said I was sorry too and the hatchet was buried and we went back to being friends again. Rumors about him would always find away to my ears.
Rumors that he was abusive to women. That he even rapped women. Very serious accusations to be sure, but the "rumors" never came directly from the survivor, but rather from a friend of a friend. So, I did what I thought was right and just shrugged it off until I heard it directly from a survivor. I never really thought it would happen. I didn't really expect it too and plus my he was my bestfriend.
After all we had been through together I wasn't about to end that based on a rumor. I realize I'm rationalizing this. Perhaps I didn't believe it because I didn't want to believe that I would make such an error in judgement. I have always prided myself on picking my friends wisely, maybe I didn't want to think I had made a mistake. If I accepted those rumors as truths I would also have to accept the fact that I didn't know everything about my bestfriend. That maybe I didn't know who he was at all and he just put on a show for me all those years. Whatever the reason, I did eventually get the tale right out of the horses mouth.
1 day before spring break my senior year of high school, the friend who helped me figure out my gender issues came to me and told me the story of how my bestfriend raped him. They way he told me was through notes, TOTALLY high school, that we passed in study hall. I kept them all. Now the survivor is an ftm and this happened while he was living as a girl. He said he didn't want this to affect my relationship with my bestfriend, but how could it not? Cut to me being so upset that I could barely function. Teachers became worried, cause when the happy go lucky girl is suddenly upset in a small school, teachers TEND to notice. The survivor eventually calmed down enough to allow me to enjoy my spring break.
I was able to but the whole thing on the back burner and not let it affect me to much. I was unsure what to do about my bestfriend, wasn't sure whether I wanted to be his friend anymore, but I couldn't just stop acting like his friend without him wondering. So, I did the only thing I thought I could do and that was keep everything normal between us. I needed to time to think about what I wanted to do. A few weeks later, the survivor got angry at me for doing this.
He claimed that I seemed like I was OK with what happened to him. I SO WASN'T, but he felt like I was. I went to him and asked him what he wanted me to do. I was at a loss. I felt like I was damned either way I went. If I continued to be friends with my bestfriend, the survivor would be mad and if I stopped being friends with my bestfriend all those years of history would be for nothing. He told me he didn't know what he wanted me to do. Cut to me being a wreck again.
I told my dad all about what was going on and he was at loss too. He saw how hard this was for me and hated that there was nothing he could do. Tears in my eyes, I even asked if I was wrong for still wanting to be friends with my bestfriend and he, very honestly, said: "No you aren't wrong, because you two have been through so much together. Its hard to kill that bond." This didn't really help me, but I loved him for saying it anyway.
The next day at school I managed to explain what was going on to my favorite teacher using person A, B, and C. That way she wasn't required to report since she didn't have names. I fucking love that loop hole sometimes!! After asking a few clarifying questions, pretty sure she KNEW I was person B, the one in the middle, she looked me in the eye and she said "Wow. That sucks and thats hard." She also told me that if I wanted to talk more to come back to her at the end of the day.
I spent the rest of the day trying to figure out what I wanted to do. The survivor didn't want me to tell. My bestfriend didn't know that I knew. I had this information that was killing me and keeping me in a bind. Finally, I decided that for the sake of my sanity, I had to tell. If that sounds selfish I'm sorry, but that is what it came down too. So, bawling my eyes the entire time, I told the teacher. I knew full well that I could lose both friends. The survivor would hate me for telling and my bestfriend wouldn't be to happy in having this to deal with. I would look two-faced in his eyes. I killed myself all that weekend about it, dreading the Monday.
Monday came......and nothing happened. No investigation, no questions for me, NO NOTHING! I killed myself for nothing! I later found out that the reason nothing happened was because the survivor never actually used the word "rape" in the notes. He implied it, but he never said the word. Also the crime was years ago and Wisconsin law says they can't investigate the crime. No evidence. So, the school year ended, I graduated with flying colors and summer came.
Somewhere in the middle of the summer, I decided that I had to tell my bestfriend, who I still thought of as a friend. I decided that I had to tell him in person and so I went over to his house. BIG MISTAKE! I should have just told him online. I went over and told him, waiting for the explosion. It never came. He thanked me for being honest and then got up and sat down next to me on his bed. Then suddenly he just graped me and held me in a bear hug style hug. He stroked my back around the area where my bra clasp was. This sudden movement made me go stiff. My brain blacked out for a few minutes terrified that he was going to try something more. He didn't. I'd like to think he didn't because of our years of friendship, but I'm probably wrong about that. I don't know why he stopped, I'm glad he did, but I do know that he probably could have done more if he wanted to. I was to scared to fight back and he is much bigger than I am. He out grew me in middle school.
Once he finally let go I made an excuse to leave and have only seen him in passing since. This whole issue has made me wonder if I even knew who my ex bestfriend. Were all those years of us hanging out a lie? Was he just putting on a show and was never honest with me? How could I be such a fool? More importantly some part of me still thinks of him as a brother, despite the awkward "hug" at the end there. Am I wrong to feel that? This is probably an issue that, like a lot of others, time will heal and help me solve. The ultimate question for me is: Did I know him at all?!?
Now I don't remember things like what the whether was like when we met or how I was feeling that day, I only remember that we met when we were both in 3rd grade. He was a new student and I had only been there half a year and knew how hard it was to be the new kid. Me and another friend decided that we wanted to try to be friends with him. So we both started talking. That was the beginning of our trio. The three us would do EVERYTHING together. Whenever I wanted to hang out with people, they were the ones I called. If one couldn't, the other, most of the time, could and so we would hang out. It helped that we lived with in walking distance of each other. As time went on, I got extremely close to the new kid.
We would very often be up late at his house or mine a lot of the time playing video games or just hanging and talking or sometimes both. These were the times when he would tell me about his life. How uncaring his mother was, how much he wished he lived with his dad who did legit love him. These conversations left me feeling lucky that I lived with a parent that loved and cared for me deeply. I felt loved when I got home, he didn't. To this day my biggest pet peeve our parents that don't give a FUCK about their kids. That don't make an effort to show some interest in what is going on in their lives. *sigh*. As all friends do, we had our disagreements.
There was one time we got in a fight. What the fight was about I can't remember, something stupid like most fights, and we didn't talk to each other for almost a month. Finally, he broke the silence and said he was sorry. I said I was sorry too and the hatchet was buried and we went back to being friends again. Rumors about him would always find away to my ears.
Rumors that he was abusive to women. That he even rapped women. Very serious accusations to be sure, but the "rumors" never came directly from the survivor, but rather from a friend of a friend. So, I did what I thought was right and just shrugged it off until I heard it directly from a survivor. I never really thought it would happen. I didn't really expect it too and plus my he was my bestfriend.
After all we had been through together I wasn't about to end that based on a rumor. I realize I'm rationalizing this. Perhaps I didn't believe it because I didn't want to believe that I would make such an error in judgement. I have always prided myself on picking my friends wisely, maybe I didn't want to think I had made a mistake. If I accepted those rumors as truths I would also have to accept the fact that I didn't know everything about my bestfriend. That maybe I didn't know who he was at all and he just put on a show for me all those years. Whatever the reason, I did eventually get the tale right out of the horses mouth.
1 day before spring break my senior year of high school, the friend who helped me figure out my gender issues came to me and told me the story of how my bestfriend raped him. They way he told me was through notes, TOTALLY high school, that we passed in study hall. I kept them all. Now the survivor is an ftm and this happened while he was living as a girl. He said he didn't want this to affect my relationship with my bestfriend, but how could it not? Cut to me being so upset that I could barely function. Teachers became worried, cause when the happy go lucky girl is suddenly upset in a small school, teachers TEND to notice. The survivor eventually calmed down enough to allow me to enjoy my spring break.
I was able to but the whole thing on the back burner and not let it affect me to much. I was unsure what to do about my bestfriend, wasn't sure whether I wanted to be his friend anymore, but I couldn't just stop acting like his friend without him wondering. So, I did the only thing I thought I could do and that was keep everything normal between us. I needed to time to think about what I wanted to do. A few weeks later, the survivor got angry at me for doing this.
He claimed that I seemed like I was OK with what happened to him. I SO WASN'T, but he felt like I was. I went to him and asked him what he wanted me to do. I was at a loss. I felt like I was damned either way I went. If I continued to be friends with my bestfriend, the survivor would be mad and if I stopped being friends with my bestfriend all those years of history would be for nothing. He told me he didn't know what he wanted me to do. Cut to me being a wreck again.
I told my dad all about what was going on and he was at loss too. He saw how hard this was for me and hated that there was nothing he could do. Tears in my eyes, I even asked if I was wrong for still wanting to be friends with my bestfriend and he, very honestly, said: "No you aren't wrong, because you two have been through so much together. Its hard to kill that bond." This didn't really help me, but I loved him for saying it anyway.
The next day at school I managed to explain what was going on to my favorite teacher using person A, B, and C. That way she wasn't required to report since she didn't have names. I fucking love that loop hole sometimes!! After asking a few clarifying questions, pretty sure she KNEW I was person B, the one in the middle, she looked me in the eye and she said "Wow. That sucks and thats hard." She also told me that if I wanted to talk more to come back to her at the end of the day.
I spent the rest of the day trying to figure out what I wanted to do. The survivor didn't want me to tell. My bestfriend didn't know that I knew. I had this information that was killing me and keeping me in a bind. Finally, I decided that for the sake of my sanity, I had to tell. If that sounds selfish I'm sorry, but that is what it came down too. So, bawling my eyes the entire time, I told the teacher. I knew full well that I could lose both friends. The survivor would hate me for telling and my bestfriend wouldn't be to happy in having this to deal with. I would look two-faced in his eyes. I killed myself all that weekend about it, dreading the Monday.
Monday came......and nothing happened. No investigation, no questions for me, NO NOTHING! I killed myself for nothing! I later found out that the reason nothing happened was because the survivor never actually used the word "rape" in the notes. He implied it, but he never said the word. Also the crime was years ago and Wisconsin law says they can't investigate the crime. No evidence. So, the school year ended, I graduated with flying colors and summer came.
Somewhere in the middle of the summer, I decided that I had to tell my bestfriend, who I still thought of as a friend. I decided that I had to tell him in person and so I went over to his house. BIG MISTAKE! I should have just told him online. I went over and told him, waiting for the explosion. It never came. He thanked me for being honest and then got up and sat down next to me on his bed. Then suddenly he just graped me and held me in a bear hug style hug. He stroked my back around the area where my bra clasp was. This sudden movement made me go stiff. My brain blacked out for a few minutes terrified that he was going to try something more. He didn't. I'd like to think he didn't because of our years of friendship, but I'm probably wrong about that. I don't know why he stopped, I'm glad he did, but I do know that he probably could have done more if he wanted to. I was to scared to fight back and he is much bigger than I am. He out grew me in middle school.
Once he finally let go I made an excuse to leave and have only seen him in passing since. This whole issue has made me wonder if I even knew who my ex bestfriend. Were all those years of us hanging out a lie? Was he just putting on a show and was never honest with me? How could I be such a fool? More importantly some part of me still thinks of him as a brother, despite the awkward "hug" at the end there. Am I wrong to feel that? This is probably an issue that, like a lot of others, time will heal and help me solve. The ultimate question for me is: Did I know him at all?!?
Monday, May 3, 2010
Buffy the Vampire Slayer vs Angel
CAUTION: THE FOLLOWING MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR EVERYONE WHO HASN'T WATCH EITHER BUFFY OR ANGEL! PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK!
A conversation with a friend has inspired me to compare and contrast the TV shows Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel, both by Joss Whedon. This is a debate that Joss Whedon fans have had since both shows hit the air ways. Buffy came first and Angel was a spin-off using the character Angel a vampire with a soul, as the lead character. The debate will never end cause different people have different tastes in shows. However, since I am in the mood and since this is my blog, I have decided to give my two-cents, for what its worth, on this debate.
Now since both shows are written by Joss Whedon, both have there good points and I will state each shows good points, as I see them, as well as their bad points. I will start with Angel.
Pros for Angel:
1. Good development of Cordy and Wes, two already known characters from Buffy. Cordy becoming part demon and Wes's journey into darkness were both incredible!
2. Seasons 4 and 5 are incredible! Very dark and dig far into different issues. These two seasons got me invested. Sadly they are the last two.
3. The show gave the world Fred aka Winifred, Lorne and Gunn three AMAZING heroes.
4. Wolfram and Hart the law firm that is the big bad throughout the ENTIRE show. Specifically Lilah and Lindsey. Thus proving my theory that lawyers are at the center of evil ;)
5. Very dark at times especially seasons 4 and 5.
6. Interesting idea to have a vampire get pregnant. Sorta forced at times, but still interesting.
7. Connor's story was also very interesting. A lot of people hate Connor, but he had
a very interesting idea behind him and the actor played the role VERY well!
I can't think of anymore pros for Angel. So, on to the cons.
Cons for Angel:
1. To traditional strong male hero saves "weak" "defenseless" female. Seemed far too men are strong women are weak for me. I was surprised Whedon did it that way.
2. Seasons 1-3 were an absolute SNOOZE FEST! To action hero-y and not enough story telling.
3. Not enough development of the main character. Angel started as a brooding vampire with a soul, he ended as a BROODING VAMPIRE WITH A SOUL!
4. Not enough flaws in the main character. He always seemed to be on the side of right in the show.
4. Not enough new hero characters added. Fred, Gunn, and Lorne are the only three brand new heroes added to the show that stay longer than a season, Doyle is excluded because of that.
5. Some of the best episodes involved already established characters from Buffy like Faith. Sorry, but a good show wouldn't have to rely so heavily on characters from another show.
6. Darla was extremely under used. They had a chance to make the show interesting when they brought her on, but didn't use her for shit! Darla is not included in 5 because she wasn't well established in Buffy
7. Ending of season 4 failed to deliver on how good that season was. The rest of the season 4 was EXCELLENT with Dark Cordy and everything, but then they ruined it by doing the Jasmine story line XD! They should have done their original idea with the final battle being between Cordy and Angel.
8. Gave the world Holtz quite possibly the dumbest bad guy ever! He was so boring! Didn't really do anything. At first I liked the idea, but they failed to really go anywhere with it and the end was obvious.
9. The relationships seemed very forced/didn't make sense. Fred and Gunn comes to mind here. I like the idea of having an interracial couple, but this just felt forced and the actors had no spark on screen. Angel and Cordy would have made sense HAD they done anything with it! Lilah and Wes made sense as well, even though it really shouldn't have! They got it right with Fred and Wes at the end though, I'll admit that.
10. Over all the big bads of the show FAILED! Wolfram and Hart/The Senior Partners and Evil Cordy are the exceptions to that. If I don't buy into the big bads, I don't care if the hero wins!
11. When Buffy came on to the show the writing for her was terrible! Buffy isn't Buffy when she comes on Angel. Not sure who she is, but its not the character from the BtSV. The epically failed to give her good writing. Pissed me off!
Can't think of anymore cons for Angel, on to Buffy!
Pros for Buffy:
1. Very female centered. The women had the power it is a refreshing change from the typical hero show. Men where much more the sidekicks.
2. The core four of the Scooby Gang all had their flaws. Buffy had flaws, just because she was the main hero, doesn't mean that she is perfect. She hides Angel from the gang when she knows he is back. Willow went way to far into magicks. Xander has commitment issues and is a bit jealous of Angel in the early seasons. Giles kills an innocent and tries to trick Buffy.
3. The big bads, while evil, aren't always wrong. The Mayor and Faith for instance call Buffy and Angel on somethings. The Mayor focus on their relationship, while Faith focuses on Buffy's idea of what being the slayer is.
4. The Big Bads are just cool! Right down the list in the show, the Big Bads are just so cool and very well written and acted. This includes development and back stories they are excellent. Adam, in season 4, is the exception.
5. The relationships are just amazing and believable. They all make sense and the actors have incredible sparks on screen! Willow and Tara is of course my favorite ^_^, but even Kennedy and Willow makes sense in my opinion. Faith and Robin are a great interracial couple that works!
6. Buffy doesn't end up with a man! It is classic for a female lead to end up with a partner, typically a male, at the end of show, Buffy does NOT! She is single at the end of the show. I love that part!
7. The center theme of the journey of self discovery in the show. All the younger core of the scoobie gang, and to a lesser extent Giles too, are trying to figure how they fit into the crazy world as well as who they are. A theme anyone can relate too.
8. Not clearly black and white. Right and wrong really aren't labeled in the show. Vampires and demons aren't bad just because they are vamps and demons. When Giles kills Ben in order to kill Glory, they never say he did the right thing or the wrong thing. Morals are very muddied in Buffy with no real clear answerers.
9. Season 6. Words can't express how much I love this season! I have and will always argue that season 6 is about love and the power of love. Everything happens in this season because of love. It is also SO dark, creepy and gives us Spuffy (aka Spike and Buffy). My favorite of the the character Buffy's relationships.
10. The idea of fighting as a community. Buffy very often needs the help of her friends and can't do it on her own. The show argues that this is very often the best route to go with, especially in season 4 when the Initiative, a military site, gets its ass kicked because one man is calling th shots and doesn't listen to Buffy and her friends.
Ok, I think thats enough to get my point across, and I can't think of any more. On to the cons!
Cons for Buffy:
1. Gave the world Riley Finn. Epically failed as a relationship for Buffy he was threated by a strong women. EPIC FAIL!
2. Gave the world Adam. The worst Buffy villain EVER! The idea of Buffy fighting the first man was cool, but the actor failed to do a good job.
Those are really about the only two things that I dislike about Buffy.
So, in case you couldn't guess which one I like better, what are you living under a rock? The answer is BUFFY! I feel I have explained my reasoning well enough and I am tried of typing.
Bye everyone!
A conversation with a friend has inspired me to compare and contrast the TV shows Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel, both by Joss Whedon. This is a debate that Joss Whedon fans have had since both shows hit the air ways. Buffy came first and Angel was a spin-off using the character Angel a vampire with a soul, as the lead character. The debate will never end cause different people have different tastes in shows. However, since I am in the mood and since this is my blog, I have decided to give my two-cents, for what its worth, on this debate.
Now since both shows are written by Joss Whedon, both have there good points and I will state each shows good points, as I see them, as well as their bad points. I will start with Angel.
Pros for Angel:
1. Good development of Cordy and Wes, two already known characters from Buffy. Cordy becoming part demon and Wes's journey into darkness were both incredible!
2. Seasons 4 and 5 are incredible! Very dark and dig far into different issues. These two seasons got me invested. Sadly they are the last two.
3. The show gave the world Fred aka Winifred, Lorne and Gunn three AMAZING heroes.
4. Wolfram and Hart the law firm that is the big bad throughout the ENTIRE show. Specifically Lilah and Lindsey. Thus proving my theory that lawyers are at the center of evil ;)
5. Very dark at times especially seasons 4 and 5.
6. Interesting idea to have a vampire get pregnant. Sorta forced at times, but still interesting.
7. Connor's story was also very interesting. A lot of people hate Connor, but he had
a very interesting idea behind him and the actor played the role VERY well!
I can't think of anymore pros for Angel. So, on to the cons.
Cons for Angel:
1. To traditional strong male hero saves "weak" "defenseless" female. Seemed far too men are strong women are weak for me. I was surprised Whedon did it that way.
2. Seasons 1-3 were an absolute SNOOZE FEST! To action hero-y and not enough story telling.
3. Not enough development of the main character. Angel started as a brooding vampire with a soul, he ended as a BROODING VAMPIRE WITH A SOUL!
4. Not enough flaws in the main character. He always seemed to be on the side of right in the show.
4. Not enough new hero characters added. Fred, Gunn, and Lorne are the only three brand new heroes added to the show that stay longer than a season, Doyle is excluded because of that.
5. Some of the best episodes involved already established characters from Buffy like Faith. Sorry, but a good show wouldn't have to rely so heavily on characters from another show.
6. Darla was extremely under used. They had a chance to make the show interesting when they brought her on, but didn't use her for shit! Darla is not included in 5 because she wasn't well established in Buffy
7. Ending of season 4 failed to deliver on how good that season was. The rest of the season 4 was EXCELLENT with Dark Cordy and everything, but then they ruined it by doing the Jasmine story line XD! They should have done their original idea with the final battle being between Cordy and Angel.
8. Gave the world Holtz quite possibly the dumbest bad guy ever! He was so boring! Didn't really do anything. At first I liked the idea, but they failed to really go anywhere with it and the end was obvious.
9. The relationships seemed very forced/didn't make sense. Fred and Gunn comes to mind here. I like the idea of having an interracial couple, but this just felt forced and the actors had no spark on screen. Angel and Cordy would have made sense HAD they done anything with it! Lilah and Wes made sense as well, even though it really shouldn't have! They got it right with Fred and Wes at the end though, I'll admit that.
10. Over all the big bads of the show FAILED! Wolfram and Hart/The Senior Partners and Evil Cordy are the exceptions to that. If I don't buy into the big bads, I don't care if the hero wins!
11. When Buffy came on to the show the writing for her was terrible! Buffy isn't Buffy when she comes on Angel. Not sure who she is, but its not the character from the BtSV. The epically failed to give her good writing. Pissed me off!
Can't think of anymore cons for Angel, on to Buffy!
Pros for Buffy:
1. Very female centered. The women had the power it is a refreshing change from the typical hero show. Men where much more the sidekicks.
2. The core four of the Scooby Gang all had their flaws. Buffy had flaws, just because she was the main hero, doesn't mean that she is perfect. She hides Angel from the gang when she knows he is back. Willow went way to far into magicks. Xander has commitment issues and is a bit jealous of Angel in the early seasons. Giles kills an innocent and tries to trick Buffy.
3. The big bads, while evil, aren't always wrong. The Mayor and Faith for instance call Buffy and Angel on somethings. The Mayor focus on their relationship, while Faith focuses on Buffy's idea of what being the slayer is.
4. The Big Bads are just cool! Right down the list in the show, the Big Bads are just so cool and very well written and acted. This includes development and back stories they are excellent. Adam, in season 4, is the exception.
5. The relationships are just amazing and believable. They all make sense and the actors have incredible sparks on screen! Willow and Tara is of course my favorite ^_^, but even Kennedy and Willow makes sense in my opinion. Faith and Robin are a great interracial couple that works!
6. Buffy doesn't end up with a man! It is classic for a female lead to end up with a partner, typically a male, at the end of show, Buffy does NOT! She is single at the end of the show. I love that part!
7. The center theme of the journey of self discovery in the show. All the younger core of the scoobie gang, and to a lesser extent Giles too, are trying to figure how they fit into the crazy world as well as who they are. A theme anyone can relate too.
8. Not clearly black and white. Right and wrong really aren't labeled in the show. Vampires and demons aren't bad just because they are vamps and demons. When Giles kills Ben in order to kill Glory, they never say he did the right thing or the wrong thing. Morals are very muddied in Buffy with no real clear answerers.
9. Season 6. Words can't express how much I love this season! I have and will always argue that season 6 is about love and the power of love. Everything happens in this season because of love. It is also SO dark, creepy and gives us Spuffy (aka Spike and Buffy). My favorite of the the character Buffy's relationships.
10. The idea of fighting as a community. Buffy very often needs the help of her friends and can't do it on her own. The show argues that this is very often the best route to go with, especially in season 4 when the Initiative, a military site, gets its ass kicked because one man is calling th shots and doesn't listen to Buffy and her friends.
Ok, I think thats enough to get my point across, and I can't think of any more. On to the cons!
Cons for Buffy:
1. Gave the world Riley Finn. Epically failed as a relationship for Buffy he was threated by a strong women. EPIC FAIL!
2. Gave the world Adam. The worst Buffy villain EVER! The idea of Buffy fighting the first man was cool, but the actor failed to do a good job.
Those are really about the only two things that I dislike about Buffy.
So, in case you couldn't guess which one I like better, what are you living under a rock? The answer is BUFFY! I feel I have explained my reasoning well enough and I am tried of typing.
Bye everyone!
Sunday, May 2, 2010
My new favorite song!
So over the weekend two of my lovely friends managed to get me sucked on to Second Life, or SL for short, and NO I will not post my name you want to know ask and I may tell you, and took me exploring to other parts of the game. While at one of these parts, and amazing song that sums up how I feel about the "LGBT" community as whole. The lyrics are below, if you would like listen while reading got this site: http://www.archive.org/details/AnnaRolandAbandonedCities You can also download that album from that site! Spread the word folks! Other than that, going to let the song speak for itself. Enjoy folks! BYES!
Rich, White and Gay Lyrics by Anna Roland
Well, what do you see of the gay mainstream?
Queer eye, queer folk—it’s queer TV.
And you say "oh my goodness look how far we’ve come"
but that all depends on where you’re coming from
chorus:
Yeah, when you say ‘we’
I think i know what you mean
it’s that rich, white, gay and lesbian
so called community
It’s the folks who wanna end housing discrimination
but ban youth shelters in the name of beautification.
Who think their partners should have health coverage to share,
but don’t give a damn ‘bout universal health care.
Who fight in the courts for tougher hate crimes,
but think the racist system is working just fine.
‘Cause it’s OK to haul off to jail the homeless and the youth
people of color, trannys, sex workers too
as long as it’s not people like you
then you can maintain you’re agenda
that benefits the few.
Repeat Chorus
It’s a gay mainstream that votes anti-poor,
as long as civil unions are accounted for.
They don’t seem to see their obvious connections
between race, class, ability, and gender expression.
They don’t think of the black drag queens that battled for us all
hurlin’ high heels at the cops outside of stonewall
when they vote to put more pigs on the streets
and never hear about the people that they beat.
Repeat Chorus
Some true facts about the Human Rights Campaign!
‘Cause the Human Rights Campaign is sponsored by Nike and Coors,
who violate everybody’s rights but yours.
They claim to advocate for queers and trannys
and then don’t write them into nondiscrimination policies.
They even endorsed a republican candidate.
Thanks HRC for bein’ my advocate.
Repeat Chorus
It’s the log cabins, the don’t ask don’t tell.
It’s consumerisms choice demographic to sell.
It’s climbin’ up the ladder leavin’ everyone behind.
It’s the best pecking order capitalism can find.
It’s the upwardly mobile that want to marry.
It’s the strict butch/femme dichotomy.
It’s queers who equate true equality
with straight privilege like shows on TV
as long as the butt of the jokes are still based on misogyny
and the lead roles are straight in reality.
It’s a slap in the face to kioshi
and every other liberation warrior since the sixties
and anyone ever arrested on your street
cuz they might lower the value of your property.
Yeah, when you say we
I think I know what you mean
it’s that rich, white, gay and lesbian so called....
Well it’s not the trannys, it’s not the dykes
it’s not anyone who’s not white
it’s not the whores, not the fags
not asians, latinas, natives, or blacks
it’s not the homeless, the deaf or blind
it’s not fake cocks or chests that bind
it’s not the fat folks, or the freaks
or any combination of any other identity
Except that rich, white, gay
that rich, white, and gay
that rich, white, gay ...
...and sometimes lesbian
so called community.
Rich, White and Gay Lyrics by Anna Roland
Well, what do you see of the gay mainstream?
Queer eye, queer folk—it’s queer TV.
And you say "oh my goodness look how far we’ve come"
but that all depends on where you’re coming from
chorus:
Yeah, when you say ‘we’
I think i know what you mean
it’s that rich, white, gay and lesbian
so called community
It’s the folks who wanna end housing discrimination
but ban youth shelters in the name of beautification.
Who think their partners should have health coverage to share,
but don’t give a damn ‘bout universal health care.
Who fight in the courts for tougher hate crimes,
but think the racist system is working just fine.
‘Cause it’s OK to haul off to jail the homeless and the youth
people of color, trannys, sex workers too
as long as it’s not people like you
then you can maintain you’re agenda
that benefits the few.
Repeat Chorus
It’s a gay mainstream that votes anti-poor,
as long as civil unions are accounted for.
They don’t seem to see their obvious connections
between race, class, ability, and gender expression.
They don’t think of the black drag queens that battled for us all
hurlin’ high heels at the cops outside of stonewall
when they vote to put more pigs on the streets
and never hear about the people that they beat.
Repeat Chorus
Some true facts about the Human Rights Campaign!
‘Cause the Human Rights Campaign is sponsored by Nike and Coors,
who violate everybody’s rights but yours.
They claim to advocate for queers and trannys
and then don’t write them into nondiscrimination policies.
They even endorsed a republican candidate.
Thanks HRC for bein’ my advocate.
Repeat Chorus
It’s the log cabins, the don’t ask don’t tell.
It’s consumerisms choice demographic to sell.
It’s climbin’ up the ladder leavin’ everyone behind.
It’s the best pecking order capitalism can find.
It’s the upwardly mobile that want to marry.
It’s the strict butch/femme dichotomy.
It’s queers who equate true equality
with straight privilege like shows on TV
as long as the butt of the jokes are still based on misogyny
and the lead roles are straight in reality.
It’s a slap in the face to kioshi
and every other liberation warrior since the sixties
and anyone ever arrested on your street
cuz they might lower the value of your property.
Yeah, when you say we
I think I know what you mean
it’s that rich, white, gay and lesbian so called....
Well it’s not the trannys, it’s not the dykes
it’s not anyone who’s not white
it’s not the whores, not the fags
not asians, latinas, natives, or blacks
it’s not the homeless, the deaf or blind
it’s not fake cocks or chests that bind
it’s not the fat folks, or the freaks
or any combination of any other identity
Except that rich, white, gay
that rich, white, and gay
that rich, white, gay ...
...and sometimes lesbian
so called community.
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