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THE MAD WOMYN IN THE ATTIC!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Personal issue 2

WARNING!!!!!!!!!!! THIS POST CONTAINS VERY PERSONAL INFO ABOUT THE WRITER AND JUST LIKE THE LAST POST WITH THIS WARNING IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GET MORE INTIMATE INFORMATION ABOUT THE WRITER YOU SHOULD NOT READ AND GENERALLY SPEAKING THIS POST SHOULD NOT BE READ BY ANYONE! ALSO ONCE AGAIN I AM IN NO WAY KIDDING! KEEP OUT OF THE REACH OF CHILDREN!!! CONSIDER YOURSELVES WARNED ..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

For those people brave enough to stay and read this for whatever reason, perhaps the warning is too tempting, prepare for me to talk about ballbusting and why I like it, you were warned. Now the term should be pretty self explanatory, but for the sake of detail I will explain. Ballbusting is common in the BDSM community, it is typically between a female Dom and male sub and could be a variety of things. Such as kicks, punches, slaps, biting, squeezing, and anything else that involves being hit in the balls. I have watched videos, yes this means that I have watch porn before *GASP*, and it really turns me on.

The thought of a sexy, beautiful womyn hitting me where it hurts with anything, but kicking me there with high heels is the biggest turn on, you were warned people, just really turns me on! Now this is a big deal because this involves something happening to me below the belt in a sexual context, something that I wouldn't dream about doing since I tend to hate what I have down there. This is really one of the only ways that I am comfortable with being touched there. I am not at all comfortable with someone going down on me, that is way to much of a male thing to have happen. Other touching maybe possible though. I am slightly conflicted about the whole issue.

Seems almost wrong that I should get turned on by this. The act itself seems very male orientated and that feels very strange and weird too me. Weird is a good thing in my book most of the time, but this is hard. I'm trying to use it as a way to get more comfortable with the fact that I am stuck with it and that I may as well get as much pleasure out of it as I can, but its still hard. I justify being turn on by this by thinking that I am hurting my balls and that makes me feel better, because I really don't like them. Also I like pain, so it turns on my masochistic side. That helps to a point, but I still very weird about it.

Accepting a, traditionally, male aspect of my sexuality is hard. Maybe the male part of who I am is in large part sexual. Makes sense given that the part of me that is capable of getting sexual aroused is male, but that is going by what most of society says and I'm not sure I am OK with going by what society thinks. I'm stuck between feeling like this might be the place where my male side fits and not wanting that to be true, because that is they way society would view it. Maybe society for once is right. It feels right to say that that is where my male side fits in it plays a part in my sexuality. How can it not be?

I'm not sure what it means, but I'm tired of trying to figure it out and I am just going to try to enjoy this new found aspect of my sexuality.

Thats all for now.

Bye.

1 comment:

  1. I think this is really honest, and in a sense, pretty compelling. I think you are right in thinking that your male anatomy is probably a huge part of the maleness you feel within your gender. That doesn't mean ball busting or enjoying sex is a masculine thing though. Womyn and men get aroused, and both get hard. It's just a patter of how long the clit is so to speak. I say all the power to you and have fun in any way you feel comfortable

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