Overall I do enjoy being a transwoman. I think there are things that extremely empowering about being trans. For starters, for those of us who transition, we get to choose our own names. Seriously, how fucking awesome is it to be able to name yourself? Granted, lots of us go by what our parents would have named us had we been assigned correctly the first time, I did, but not all of us do. In the end it is our choice and there is something amazing about that. Since a lot of us know what it is like to be perceived, and even live, as the opposite gender, in our crap binary system, we are able to view sexism, the binary and other things in a totally different light than most, that is pretty fucking cool in my opinion at least. Lastly, I think most of us agree that our lives as transwomen, transmen, genderqueer, genderfluid, and everyone else on the trans spectrum, would agree that our lives are better as trans than they were when pretending to be something we weren't.
Sometimes, like a lot of us do, I wish I was a ciswoman, but I'll take being a transwoman over living as a cismale any day of the week! I hated being seen as cismale it wasn't me. At my core I am female there is just no getting around that. If that means that people hate me for me than so be it. I would rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not. So my trans sisters and brothers and everyone else in between be proud. Love being trans, because really it is a beautiful being trans and I wouldn't change it for the world.
Now you might be asking "Madwomyn? What has changed in your life that makes you feel this way?" I'll tell you, its because I finally feel like I have a sense of community. Last night I went out to a transwoman's meeting in my home town and it was so wonderful! The meeting started at 6:30 and ended at like 11, 5 hours of transwomen, 6 of us in total, just talking about things. Sometimes the conversation were random and not about trans issues per se, but was just everyday conversation that friends have. It was nice to not feel like I was the only one in the room going through the bullshit that trans people have to put up with on a daily bases and not have to explain the basics about being trans. It was a night where I didn't feel so alone like I do when I go to most places. A sense of community is something I have been searching for a long time and I am finally starting to feel like I have it.
Meeting more transwomen and really connecting with them was just awesome. Don't get me wrong, I love my cis friends to death, but its nice to go some place where I don't have to explain things and don't have to educate. I felt like a person for the first time in a long time, oh how I have missed that feeling. Just awesome. I got the number of one them so we could stay in contact outside of the meeting. Slowly, but surely, I am making a community for myself and that is awesome and exciting and just amazing. I am very happy right now.
Now, I am going to end on a decision that I have made in light of recent events. So, as I have talked about before on this blog, it upsets me greatly that trans rights are often shoved aside in favor of fighting for LGB rights and recently this happened yet again. Saturday DADT, Don't Ask Don't Tell, was repealed which I am very happy for, but I am rather upset with how my supposed LGB allies seemed to give up on fighting for trans rights too.
All summer every LGB group was saying how we have to pass a Trans-Inclusive ENDA NOW and then when the going got tough, in part because of the elections, they just seemed to give up on it in favor of repealing DADT something that would only affect cisgender LGB, really LG, people without putting any pressure to make it so that trans people can also serve openly in the army. Trans people are once again left behind and I am told "Now, on to trans rights!" well quite frankly, I am sick of it!I am tired of being left behind and expected to fight for LGB rights when they don't do the same for me. Tired of getting treated like a "lesser" woman by my LGB "allies" because I am trans.
This relationship has got to end the way it is, because honestly I am sick of it and so are lots of other trans people. I have come to the conclusion that I need to stop fighting for people who continually do this. I'm talking about groups and people like the HRC, Barney the fuck head Frank, and people who fought so hard to repeal DADT at the expense of passing a Trans-Inclusive ENDA, because it was "easier" to do. Getting equality for LGB people at the expense of their trans sisters and brothers and everyone else, is progress of a few while stepping on others. If that is progressing, I'll pass thanks. Once again Trans people get the shaft when the going gets tough. Well, I'm done. I am going to fight for transgender rights and not for a LGB community that doesn't want to fight for me. I am more than willing to fight along side people and groups in the LGB community that are pissed about it too and want to fight for trans rights, but the rest wont get my support anymore.
Sorry, to end on a downer, but this has been something that has been on my mind for awhile and I wanted to get it out. The picture below shows how I feel about this in a nutshell.
Bye for now!
No comments:
Post a Comment